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August 28, 2003


An ode to Karen Carpenter

I have lost weight. It's been a long time coming. Over the winter I typically add 5 lbs to my frame and then comes summer, and it disappears. This year, the disappearing fat did not take place. Because it is only 5 lbs, I didn't worry too much about it. Then in Florida, I met up with 3 colleagues who had just lost a ton of weight. They each did it using the Atkins approach. Lisa, who is always looking for a new diet, decided this might be the one that could work for her. Wanting to be supportive, I promised her I would also change my food intake. This way, she wouldn't see me eating bread and feel as if she was missing out. So a week ago we started to cut down on our carbs. I really didn't do much other than replace my morning bowl of oatmeal with a hard boiled egg and the bagel I would have for lunch with whatever meat, egg, cheese meal I could find. I got on the scale this morning and I am 6 lbs lighter. About 5 years ago, right around the time I graduated from college, I went on the Suzanne Sommer's diet and I lost 20 lbs, (taking me to my present weight, minus 4 lbs). I remember at the time, my mother and Lisa were terribly worried about me. "You look anorexic and sickly" they said. I wasn't anorexic; I was just separating my carbs and proteins in the Suzanne Sommer's tradition. Well, it was at this point of my weight loss that something peculiar happened. Men started hitting on me. I would walk down the street and guys would stop and say "Hi," and flirt. It was surreal and nothing like I had ever experienced in my life. Monitoring my appearance in the mirror, I started to agree with Mom and Lisa. I was too thin. So I started eating a little more and I gained a little weight. As soon as the weight went on and I began looking healthy, the men stopped blatantly hitting on me. It was right then I developed a theory. You see, having observed 100s of couples, I noticed that most men have what appears to be an innate need to pick their girlfriend up and spin her around. Because I stand 6 feet in height, the liklihood of a man being able to pick me up and spin me around (without my feet dragging on the ground) is not very good. This immediately nixes me as a potential mate. Now, when I was emaciated, the ability to pick me up and spin me around became greater. No longer fearing I might break their back, I became mate material. If my weight loss continues, I may start looking sickly again. I can't help but wonder if my theory will hold true. I expect to have a date or two next week from the eHarmony matches. I'll let you know if one of them spontaneously picks me up and spins me around. We shall see!

Posted by donna at August 28, 2003 11:02 AM | TrackBack

Comments

Donna, I seriously have trouble believing that you need to lose weight - unless the picture on your main page is lying.

Posted by: David at August 29, 2003 05:16 PM



I'm 5'7", Donna, and I would happily pick you up and spin you around, if not for the already firmly attached Mrs. Curmudgeon. As the angel said on that glorious night in Bethlehem, "Peace On Earth And Good Tall Women!"

Something like that, anyway.

Posted by: Francis W. Porretto at August 29, 2003 04:57 AM