Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Okay… I was on such a roll and then I totally lost all momentum. What happened?!? I dunno.

So what’s been going over here in Donna land since vacay? Not too much. I went back to Zumba class. I wasn’t terribly happy with it but I did hear that there is a new instructor teaching Zumba and she looks just like Kendra from Girls Next Door. I always preferred Bridget but whatever. I’m going to check out her class soon.

What else? I caught myself thinking, “I am just going to stay single for the rest of my life! I can find fulfillment in my business and life!” This tells me that clearly I am just scared to put myself out there…. which really means I am ready to start hunting again. So what am I going to do? I’m gonna start hunting for new meat!

First off, I’ve decided that what I really want is EXPERIENCES. I am not immediately after my future husband. Yes, I hope to find him but initially I just want to go out and meet men and talk and have fun and experience other people. I really don’t want to position this in a way that is a black & white situation. It was always about whether the guy was my future husband or not. Does he accept me or reject me? The answer was invariably NO! REJECTION! OUCH!

I can’t go through that again. Of course, I can’t go through another 5 years of waiting for a man to finally decide that he doesn’t want to marry me. That would be very bad.

So I went on Match.com on what would have been my 5 year anniversary with Pookie (how poetic!) and I performed my first search in 5 years. I had a couple of requirements. One of which was that he needed to be my height (5’11.5) or taller. I would willingly allow a deduction of 1 inch in height for each million in his bank account but unfortunately this function is currently unavailable on Match.com. I also had a couple political/religious requirements. At any rate, there was a total of 0 men at a 5 mile radius. I began expanding the radius and all I found were douche bags. I do love that term, Douche Bag. At one time I would NEVER ever use it. Now it feels positively natural.

I think I am going to stay off the online dating websites. Clearly the type of man I want is NOT on Match.com. There must be other venues for finding potential suitors. So any suggestions?

9 thoughts on “Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

  1. B. Davis

    Grrrrrrrrrrr? Is that the sound a cougar makes? Looking for young meat, are we?

    How do you know someone is a Douche Bag before you meet him? From the tattoos on the neck, biceps, and forearms? From the gimme gap he’s wearing? Because his political/religious views aren’t yours? Because he looks like he hasn’t gotten off a couch in 10 years? I guess all of those lousy qualities would qualify for douchebaggery.

    Too bad Philly doesn’t have this particular organization but there’s probably some equivalent:

    http://www.eventsandadventures.com

    Have you ever tried this one (lots of choices here, especially if you’re a vegan/atheist/tarot card reader):
    meetup.com

    Or you could watch Looking for Mr. Goodbar and see how
    Diane Keaton’s approached the Singles Market. Oops, that one didn’t work out so well. Lesson learned.

    Volunteering….church….airline courier…yada…yada….yada

    Last week I went to a Red Cross orientation class. Just find some causes or leisure time activities that are meaningul to you and jump in.

  2. Donna Post author

    Douche bags have a pretty consistent look. They look sleazy and appear cocky, egotistical, and shallow. I just can’t imagine this type of guy would take to me. (I am no lookist… just look at all the men I have ever dated!)

    It’s funny you mention Looking for Mr Goodbar. I was thinking about that movie just the other day. I never actually saw it but I know what it’s about and how it ends. I’ve always wondered about the significance of the candy bar in the title. Regardless, I am not that type to pick up strange men in bars and take them home. That’s pretty disgusting, actually.

    I guess it’s good to know that there are no secrets here. Get out and get seen it is then.

    Oh, and please no more cougar references. I just can’t deal with it right now.

  3. B. Davis

    And I’ll add one cautionary tale from my own family:
    my brother married his best friend’s sister. What could
    POSSIBLY go wrong there?????

    My brother and his best friend attended the same law school. They had a lot in common and got along famously.
    One day the best friend introduced his sister to my bro.
    My brother, who didn’t want to waste one moment of actual effort looking for a mate, decided that this was the girl for him. She was pretty….no, scratch that…she was a HOTTIE….and superficially sophisticated. The veritable freaking trophy wife that my brother desired. Ahhhh, perfection! No, wait.

    Well…..my bro started dating her….she came from a fairly well-to-do family and was couth / well-mannered….but she had already been married once….then she had been dumped by a guy who was attending dental school…..then she latched on to my brother because he also represented the meal ticket she was looking for.

    Well, my bro and this young lady got married. At the 6 month juncture of that idyllic union my bro’s wife turns to him and says: “I’ve already divorced one son of a bitch.
    I can divorce you, too.” Which she eventually did, at the 4 year point. Oh, and she took their 6 month old child, too.
    Then she married a V.P. at a real estate company and now lives the life of luxury outside of Pittsburgh, PA.

    So basically if you have great looks, the instincts of a minx, and no scruples, the world is your oyster. For the other 98% of the population the mate search is problematic.

  4. B. Davis

    Hey, it’s Bastille Day! At least for the next 45 minutes, it is. Go get yourself some fine $4.00 Frenchy wine, get plastered, and then watch the world get rosier and rosier.
    And take Neil Diamond along with you:

  5. B. Davis

    Now we need to analyze the bizarre lyrics from this
    song (and no, Neil, I don’t know what you mean, although I love the song, and there’s another reference to cheap wine here):

  6. Pingback: dustbury.com » Someone to look up to (part deux)

  7. Audra

    Donna, I’ve heard there are a lot of people on Christian Mingle right now, and they’re not uber-religious–more serious-mided than Match. Havent heard anything about EHarmony lately, but people finding each other on Christian Mingle.

  8. Donna Post author

    Yesterday morning I bit the bullet and signed up for eHarmony. I opted for just one month.. $50.00! I figured I needed a dating kickstart.

    I ran searches on Plenty of Fish, Match and eHarmony. eHarmony had the least number of douche bags. Plus it seemed the most expensive and I figured that would filter out quite a bit of trash.

    Gosh I hate all the Q&A… it’s freaking mind numbing and I’ve only done 2 rounds of it.

    Whatever… I just want to get out and start dating guys. My hope is that by getting out and meeting men, I might get over my current anger issues.

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