Take me away from your leader

by Donna on October 31st, 2007

“All my friends wonder how I can go out as often as I do! I just tell them, ‘I was 20 when I had my kid!’ He’s grown now and I can go out and party and have fun while all my friends are sitting at home with their 3-year-olds.”
“You actually enjoy going out all the time?”
“I gotta unwind! Don’t you like partying?”
“The longer I am here on planet Earth, the less I enjoy spending time with other Earthlings.”

Happy Halloween!

by Donna on October 31st, 2007

Here’s a video of me dancing in my Halloween costume! Enjoy!

CBS SPECIAL Memories

by Donna on October 29th, 2007

I wonder if “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown” is on TV tonight? How perfect would that be? I think back so fondly on my childhood, watching Peanuts’ Specials on CBS, eating popcorn my Mom made, not in the microwave but with a hot air popcorn machine. When it was plugged in, the TV would get lines of snow across the screen because the popper sucked up too much electricity or at least that’s what my dad told me. I wasn’t allowed to reach in and get the popcorn until the machine stopped popping corn because my mom said I might get hit by a hot old maid. I thought she was crazy but sure enough, I once reached in to grab a beautiful, fluffy piece of popped corn and at that exact moment, a burning hot old maid shot out and hit me on my ring finger causing a little round blister to form. It also turned me into an old maid as well. Damn that cursed kernel! My mom always gave me my own little bowl of popcorn and I would flop in front of the TV, on my belly, my elbows dug deep into the shag brown carpeting, shoving the popcorn into my mouth and waiting for the spinning SPECIAL sign that would signal the start of the Holiday inspired cartoon:

More so than the cartoon, I remember the commercials. They were better than the special presentation! There was the commercial for Scotch Tape featuring the Invisible Man:

And York Peppermint Patties:

And Polaroid commericials featuring James Garner and Mariette Hartley:

I always thought they were married! But I also always mixed up Mariette Hartley with Sarah Purcell- I don’t know why. At any rate, I’m gonna do a lap around the channels and see what kind of Holiday programming might be on.

Body Dismorphia and other silliness

by Donna on October 29th, 2007

After work I went to Walmart. I grabbed a bag of Almond Joy mini candy bars for Wednesday. Not a smart move on my part because all I want to do is devour the entire bag! Who thinks they will last until Halloween? Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t, Almond Joy’s got nuts; Mounds don’t! I walked through Walmart’s clothing section and spotted a pair of leggings. It got me to thinking how leggings would work really well when I wear a long skirt and boots– it’s a warmer choice than stockings and easier to wash! I sized up a pair and threw them into my carriage. When I got home, I tried them on and… they are baggy. I apparently have little concept of my size. Regardless, I think I am going to keep them because they are rather comfy despite the droopy ass. I got a couple other items that somehow made my bill total 60.00. I blame the Thomas’s English Muffins.

Pumpkinfest

by Donna on October 28th, 2007

Today, Robert and I went to the Shady Brook Pumpkinfest. We walked through a corn maze and ate french fries and I took a bunch of pictures of Rob standing next to a giant fiberglass cow and a gate that was decorated with a huge skull.

I can’t believe the weekend is over! In just a few hours I will be getting ready to go to work! This weekend rushed by so quickly.

My plan is to go home a little earlier on Wednesday. I will buy a small bag of candy just in case any trick or treaters stop by. I doubt there will be any since in the 3 years I’ve lived here, I’ve only had two trick or treaters total. We shall see. Maybe I will get a surprise.

If you are sad and like beer, I’m your lady

by Donna on October 28th, 2007

Last night, Rob and I spread out all the DVDs we’ve purchased over the last week with the intent to choose one for our viewing pleasure. I noticed Rob kept putting my movies aside and pointing at the one’s he choose, “How about this movie about Indians on a reservation?”
“How about Kiss me Deadly?”
“Or this one about a street gang growing up in the 60’s?”
Finally we decided on The Big Lebowski. Just as Rob was placing it into the DVD player, I said, “What about The Saddest Music?”
I think Rob realized that I desperately wanted him to see one of my movies and so he relented.
“Look, let’s give it 5 minutes, if you can’t get into it, we’ll put on the Big Lebowski, deal?”
“Deal”
And oddly enough, he got into it and started to laugh. I wasn’t sure what he would make of it but I think he liked it. Regardless, I feel like I won– I got him to see one of the kooky-ass movies I love. I just hope this isn’t the last one.

Scrubbing

by Donna on October 27th, 2007

I cleaned out my underwear drawer and I found a 45 RPM spindle adapter.

Not a good sign

by Donna on October 26th, 2007

“I trust you Jeff, I trust you!”
I hung up the phone and under my breath I said, “I don’t trust you, you weaselly bastard!”

THANK GOD IT’S FRIDAY!

Brook$ Brother$

by Donna on October 25th, 2007

As you may recall, I sponsored an event that included a panel discussion which I moderated. I like to give the panelists a little thank you gift afterward. The last time I did this, I went to Brooks Brothers and bought each panelist a tie. The fellows absolutely loved the ties and I decided to keep doing it until I came up with a better idea. (Anyone have a better gift idea?) Last weekend I went back to Brooks Brothers, hoping to find the gay back man who helped me the last time. Gosh he was so helpful. I told him exactly what I wanted and he hand picked the ties for me! Unfortunately he was not there and so I had to rely on another salesperson. This woman was so very friendly and kept complimenting me, over and over and over! I told her what I wanted, 5 ties at approximately $50.00 apiece. She went through the table picking out ties and handing them to me and then we went to the register and she started ringing them up.
“220.00… 195.00… 225.00…”
“WHAT!?!?!?! Wait! I told you my budget– it’s 50.00 per tie!”
“Yes, but when you buy one tie you get the next tie 30% off.”
“That discount won’t make any of these ties 50.00!”
“I thought you wanted Brooks Brothers ties!”
“I did– for 50.00 a piece.”
So I went back and I picked out ties that were between 59.00 - 69.00 and she rang them up. She wished me well as I cursed her under my breath.

Today in my mail was a card from this woman. She said it was a pleasure serving me and to call her if I ever needed anything from Brooks Brothers. This was the first time I ever received a card from a place I shopped. I’m pretty impressed. Regardless, I am still going to ask for the gay black man if I ever go back.

Thursday morning blues and greens

by Donna on October 25th, 2007

I am sitting in my office. I’ve been here since 7:30. I find as the week wears on it gets harder and harder to pull myself out of bed and get to work. It’s usually on Wednesday when I start losing the momentum. I don’t know if it’s because I’m getting older or I am out of shape or because my job slowly zaps the life force out of me. At least the weekends allow me to regenerate and face Monday and Tuesday with fire and power.

This month was absolutely fantastic in terms of sales. I left my quota wheezing in the dust mid-month and the last two weeks have been pure gravy. Of course, in just a few days the scoreboard goes back to 0 and I gotta prove myself again. That’s the beauty of sales– you’re right back to being shit the first of the month.