Is it just a coincidence or is this an apology for last week? My hotel has me in a corner suite with windows that wrap around the room and overlook the beautiful Chicago skyline! Last week the concierge gave me a rough time and I complained to management: “Is this the way you treat a loyal customer?!?” I’d like to think this gorgeous view is an apology. If that is the case, I ACCEPT!

Gosh, it’s been a rough couple of days. All day meetings Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. Tomorrow is catch up day. This afternoon I really started to feel the stress and I had a hard time keeping my eyes focused. All I wanted to do was crawl into bed. Finally, one of the EMG members walked in carrying bags of candy and placed one on each table. I grabbed a handful: butterfingers, snickers, and goetz caramels. Mmmmmm, it tasted so good and the sugar gave me the kick I needed. The meeting ended at 5:30 but I didn’t leave the office until 7:45. The candy is still in my stomach and so I decided not to order room service. Besides, it is too late to eat dinner.

I flew United last night. The security line was long and I was certain I would miss my flight. Somehow I got through without a rectal cavity search performed. The Inflight entertainment had a channel devoted to Loretta Lynn’s new album with Jack White (I have no clue who he is but apparently he is a somebody). There is something about Loretta Lynn that I just love. There is also something about her that makes me queasy. Maybe it’s because there is “too much information” in her songs. Finally 9:00 is upon us and the plane’s wheels pop out of its belly on schedule and we begin to descend upon the tarmac. The ground is getting closer and closer. Suddenly, right before we touch down, the plane jumps right back into the air and we fly right back into the sky. Everyone is looking around with quizzical expressions on their faces. I try to remain nonchalant, the frequent flier that I am. Of course I am also a scarredy cat and I was getting very worried. The pilot finally interrupts the silence by saying that there was already another plane on the jetway, “a little too close for comfort” and he was instructed to pull back. We looped around and then came in for a perfect little landing. I didn’t check my bags on this leg so I was able to walk right out of the airport into Lisa’s awaiting Ford Focus. Both of us were hungy, despite the late hour, and it didn’t take us long to drive to Nifty Fifty’s for hamburgers and diet chocolate cokes. Lisa asked, “Doesn’t diet chocolate coke defeat the purpose?” “No, no, no, Lisa, that’s the beauty of it!” I replied sucking down the only semi-devil’s juice. Tomorrow I leave for Chicago. Not much of a weekend for me. I will drink coffee, maybe shop, definitely putz, and who knows what else. It may be short but I intend to make it a nice and relaxing weekend.

This afternoon I went down to Au bon Pain for lunch. I got a cup of soup and a corn bread muffin. I bagged the food to take back to my desk where I would eat and work. The elevator doors closed but the buttons wouldn’t illuminate. THE ELEVATOR WAS STUCK!!! There I stood in the crowded elevator. Luckily I was on the first floor so the fear of plunging to my death wasn’t overwhelming. The minutes began to tick by. I started to panic…this is taking too long. Finally, the one guy grabbed the door and PRIED IT OPEN. We had to step up to the floor but we got out. I mmediately jumped into another elevator to get back to the office.

I loaded a program to fight all the spam comments donnaville has been receiving. One thing I discovered is that the comments aren’t about getting people to click the links but rather to get Google to index and rank the posted url. Jeden Tag ein bisschen schlauer.

Charles mentioned me in one of his Vents. Reading it, I began to wonder: Is it that I know what I want or is it just the nagging feeling that boys have cooties?

My bags are semi-packed. Tomorrow I wake up extra early to catch the early flight to Chicago. This afternoon Lisa and I went shopping and in the car ride to the store, I flipped through the radio stations. One of the many songs that poured from the speakers was a Phil Collins/Genesis song. And as usual, I kept the radio dial moving!!!! Somehow, I always thought that come age 30, I would suddenly find Phil Collins irresistable. I also thought I would be taken by an uncontollable urge to get a manly haircut and buy a station wagon. So far, none of these things have happened. So far, so good.

I am still here. I survived. Somehow. My birthday was great. I had 3 parties. The first one was the Sunday before my birthday. My mom and dad surprised me with an ice cream cake right after dinner. Mom presented me with a sweater and a beautful black skirt.

Lisa came with me to Chicago and on Thursday, we went to the Bucktown section of Chicago. We ate at the Blue Line for dinner. Then we had drinks at the Absinthe Cafe. I ordered Absinthe, quite certain the bartender would tell me, “No way.” Oddly enough, he had knock-off Absinthe; however, there was only a scant (non-detectable) trace of wormwood. It also tasted like anise-flavored antifreeze. Later we went to Mod for dessert. Their decor is Clockwork Orange-inspired. After a glass of dessert wine I found myself uttering, “Welly welly well my droogs!” Gosh, I despise that movie. I remember back in Junior High, Coach Opp suggested I watch Clockwork Orange. I rented it that very night and found it to be the single most disturbing movie I had up to that moment ever seen. The rape scene sung to Singing in the Rain still haunts me. Coach Opp, what were you thinking suggesting that movie to a 15-year-old girl!?!?! At any rate, my birthday went fantastically well. Bucktown is a great place to spend an evening.

Saturday, Lisa and I went to Barbara and George’s house for dinner. Once the plates were cleared away, Barbara and George appeared with a chocolate cake and I had Happy Birthday sung to me a third time. It was wonderful!

Lisa gave me the DVD boxset of all 4 Billy Jack movies. As much as I love Born Losers and Billy Jack, the last two (The Trial of Billy Jack & Billy Jack goes to Washington) don’t do it for me. I am thinking of exchanging the boxset for some Elvis movies. I figure, if I am going to have something on DVD, it should be something that I can watch over and over. It was a great idea, and I was absolutely giddy when I saw it was Billy Jack but now I am just thinking I might do better with something a little more fluffy.

My favorite Billy Jack quotes:

Bernard, I want you to know… that I try. When Jean and the kids at the school tell me that I’m supposed to control my violent temper, and be passive and nonviolent like they are, I try. I really try. But when I see this girl… of such a beautiful spirit… so degraded… and this boy… that I love… sprawled out by this big ape here… and this little girl, who is so special to us we call her “God’s little gift of sunshine”… and I think of the number of years that she’s going to have to carry in her memory… the savagery of this idiotic moment of yours… I just go BERSERK! KAPOW!!!!

You know what I think I’m gonna do? Just for the hell of it? I’m gonna take this right foot, and I’m gonna whop you on that side of your face….and you wanna know something? There’s not a damn thing you’re gonna be able to do about it….KAPOW!!!!!

My Lifeclock has turned to black. It is time for Carousel.